Sonu Singh
Funny jokes for drunks
General Drunk Humor
- Why did the drunk go broke? Because he lost all his liquor-ment.
- What do you call a drunk bee? Buzzed!
- A drunk walks into a bar… oh wait, no—that’s how it starts.
- Why don’t drunks ever get into arguments online? They forget what they were mad about halfway through typing.
- How many beers does it take to change a lightbulb? None—it’s dark anyway!
- Why did the drunk bring a ladder to the bar? To reach higher standards.
- Two drunks were arguing about who was smarter. The bartender said, “You’re both wrong.” They high-fived him.
- What’s a drunk person’s favorite type of math? Booze-ics.
- Why did the drunk try yoga? He wanted to find balance… but mostly fell out of tree pose.
- What do you call a drunk pirate? Arrrrr-tistic.
Bar Jokes
- Why did the drunk sit on the sideline at the bar? So he could cheer on the drinks.
- Bartender: “What can I get you?” Drunk: “Surprise me!” Bartender hands him a water bill.
- Why don’t drunks play hide-and-seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re stumbling everywhere.
- A drunk walks up to a horse and says, “Hey buddy, need a ride home?”
- Why did the drunk order whiskey instead of beer? He heard it had more spirit.
- What do you call a drunk bartender? Self-serving.
- Why did the drunk put ketchup on his pillow? In case he got hungry in his sleep.
- A drunk orders a beer and asks, “Is this gluten-free?” The bartender replies, “No, it’s alcohol-heavy.”
- Why did the drunk start drawing pictures on napkins? He wanted to leave his mark… literally.
- What’s a drunk’s favorite song at karaoke night? “Don’t Stop Believin’” (because they never do).
Food & Drink Puns
- Why did the drunk pour wine on his keyboard? To make sure everything was wine-compatible.
- What do you call a drunk chef? Soused sous-chef.
- Why did the drunk eat raw dough? He kneaded something quick.
- What’s a drunk’s favorite fruit? Punchline-apples.
- Why did the drunk add rum to his coffee? For an espresso-tion of feelings.
- What do you call a tipsy avocado? Guacward.
- Why did the drunk only drink sparkling water? He didn’t want to lose his fizzical fitness.
- What do you call a drunk pizza delivery guy? A sauced cyclist.
- Why did the drunk put Sriracha on ice cream? He thought spicy desserts were trendy.
- What’s a drunk vegan’s favorite snack? Tipsy tofu.
Animal-Themed Jokes
- Why did the drunk adopt a cat? Because dogs bark too much after midnight.
- What do you call a drunk penguin? Waddling wasted.
- Why did the drunk buy a parrot? To have someone repeat his bad decisions back to him.
- What do you call a tipsy sloth? Hangover.
- Why did the drunk think squirrels were following him? They wanted their nuts back.
- What’s a drunk cow’s favorite drink? Moo-ritas.
- Why did the drunk chase a butterfly? He mistook it for confetti.
- What do you call a drunk owl? Hootch.
- Why did the drunk name his fish “Beer”? It kept swimming in circles.
- What do you call a drunk kangaroo? Hoppy hour.
Relationship Jokes
- Why did the drunk propose to his beer mug? It was always there for him.
- What do you call a drunk couple fighting? Spirits colliding.
- Why did the drunk apologize to his girlfriend? She told him she needed space, so he moved to Mars (in his mind).
- Why did the drunk write love letters to tequila? It made him feel warm inside.
- What do you call a drunk Tinder date? Swipe-righteous.
- Why did the drunk text his ex? Autocorrect turned “beer” into her name.
- What do you call a drunk wedding planner? Tying one on.
- Why did the drunk bring flowers to the bar? To impress the bouncer.
- What’s a drunk’s idea of romance? Sharing nachos and forgetting names.
- Why did the drunk serenade his glass? It had great body language.
Miscellaneous Fun
- Why did the drunk wear sunglasses indoors? To protect himself from bright ideas.
- What do you call a drunk magician? Abraca-dramatic.
- Why did the drunk carry around a ruler? To measure how far he’d fallen.
- What do you call a drunk detective? Cluesless.
- Why did the drunk paint his face green? He wanted to blend in with envy.
- What do you call a drunk astronaut? Space cadet.
- Why did the drunk use ketchup as cologne? He wanted to smell like fries.
- What do you call a drunk philosopher? Deeply intoxicated.
- Why did the drunk climb a tree? To see if birds knew any secrets.
- What’s a drunk’s favorite exercise? Liquid lunges.
Sonu Singh
Owner and Write
Sonu Singh is a talented writer who brings laughter to the readers of jokesandpuns.fun with his clever jokes and puns. His knack for wordplay and humor makes him a standout contributor to the site.
About Me
I’ve been hooked on comedy since I was a kid. Growing up, I was the family jokester, always ready with a quip or a pun to lighten the mood at gatherings. Now, writing for jokesandpuns.fun lets me spread that joy to a bigger audience, one laugh at a time.
My Philosophy
I believe humor is a universal language—nothing beats the feeling of making someone smile or laugh out loud. My goal is to craft jokes and puns that are sharp, surprising, and maybe a little cheesy. A good groan is just as satisfying as a big chuckle!
Beyond Writing
When I’m not scribbling down punchlines, I love hitting up comedy clubs, flipping through old joke books, or brainstorming new puns. I’m also a sucker for word games—crosswords and riddles are my not-so-secret inspirations.
Sample Jokes
Here’s a taste of my humor with a few favorite puns:
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Want more? Swing by my author page for a full dose of laughs!
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